Beau's Comments About Her Weight Could Be Red Flag

The Commercial Appeal (2007-Current) › March 15, 2011

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Summary

Q: I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. About 6-8 months into the relationship, we were discussing marriage (not our own) because of a wedding we had gone to where the bride was a fitness buff. I stated how great she looked in her dress and that I want to look the same way in my wedding pictures. This turned into him stating that he wants a thin bride as well. Time has passed since then, and there have been several times where he asks me if I'm going to the gym, or will make a comment if I'm eating something that isn't particularly healthy. We've had two big fights about my weight. He said that we can't move forward in our relationship without me losing weight. He thinks that if I get pregnant, then I'm never going to be able to drop the weight, and his whole family is overweight and he doesn't want to be married to someone who is big as well. He's simply not attracted to them.

I'll admit I'm not the smallest girl who has ever walked. I could afford to lose about 30 to 40 pounds, but I wasn't small when he started dating me two years ago either. (He saw pictures of me from when I was on a competition cheerleading squad and was very, very in shape and his view of me changed.) I have gained maybe 20 pounds in the past two years because of a medication that I was on (Depo), and since I only stand 5 feet tall, it looks like a lot more than it is. He told me last night that some of his friends talk about me and make comments like "you like them big, huh?" and other stupid things, to which he says that he stands up for me. But all of these things hurt my feelings. I understand that he wants me to better myself, but my self-esteem is just shattered. I want to be able to just brush this off, but it's hurting so much inside. I'm embarrassed and sad and, overall, confused.

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Beau's Comments About Her Weight Could Be Red Flag

Yvette: Normally I would say dump him, and still may by the end...

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